the waiting game

i feel like this winter has been a waiting game. right now, i'm waiting for this nasty flu to get done with me. i'm also waiting to see what doors are going to open. i know my life is going to change pretty drastically, no matter which doors may swing open. i'm just having to be patient and try not to imagine what my life will be like in a few months. i probably should be grateful for this persistent flu, since it has done a good job of keeping my mind focused on making sure my lungs stay inside my body while i violently cough everything else out!

i got sick the day after i returned from portland, but i think the bug actually went on the trip with me and respectfully held off it's full-fledged invasion until i got back home.

i have to admit, the most recent portland trip was a bit more low energy than those in recent years. maybe because i was at the cusp of getting sick, or maybe because i have been really low energy for some time now. or it could just be because i am currently subsisting at a crossroads of uncertainty, and that can be a pretty mellowing, somewhat numbing experience.

bella, my steadfast companion, has been really sticking close to my side for the past week or so. she usually will ramble about with the judy branch pack during the days, but with me being sick, she has become a house dog/canine nursemaid. she wants to go everywhere i go, even if it means sitting in the car and/or sleeping at the foot of my bed for hours. it's pretty amazing how dogs have such a keen intuitive sense when it comes to their chosen two-legged companions. bella was also stuck to my side like this after my back surgery. you couldn't get her to leave my side for anything. it's pretty humbling to experience such loyal companionship. i just hope she isn't sensing some kind of more serious illness than a stubborn case of the flu!